Happy National Coming Out Day! ..Am I Late?

Okay, okay. There's something that I've been going through that I haven't been completely forward about. I've dropped hints, mainly because it's been a big part of my life lately. I haven't always known how open I should be about it, as it is a private, personal journey much of the time, and it is something huge that can affect the rest of my life! However, since much of my outline for this blog will deal with this journey, I think it is probably best to give some background so we are all caught up, particularly with lingo. I feel it is finally time to come out and admit it...

...I am a student of The Artist's Way.

Ha! Some of you thought I was going to admit something else that so many have already supposed. Well, not today, sucka! I'll save that for another time..

The Artist's Way is a spiritually-based creative recovery self-help book structured as a 12-week course. It is written by Julia Cameron, an author-filmmaker-teacher who interestingly was married to film director Martin Scorsese in the 70's, even having a daughter with him. The course gains insights from Julia's own life (like, her alcoholism and drug addiction; she's been sober since 1978), as well as other artists' experiences, to teach creative unblocking in reaching higher, more constant creative potential with emphasis on God, Mind, Vishnu, Universe, Flying Spaghetti Monster, whatever spiritual electricity has been useful to you.

Arguably, even by Julia, the course is not just for artists. Businesspersons, lawyers, and other professionals have reportedly found help from the course as they have freed themselves from doubts and fears that clogged their system of operation for their profession -- their needed creativity specific to their field. We are all creative beings created by the Great Creator. We have His potential in us and are meant to use it. We are happier, more fulfilled, when we use it. Julia's view is that our creativity is inseparable from our spirituality. I couldn't agree more, having recognized and considered this previously.

God is the Great Creator, the Great Artist. Artists love artists. Why, then, would He not want to support them, despite common fallacies and negative stigma against the artist's well-being? To look to Him is to open yourself up to greater creativity and to trust. It is here that gentle but powerful changes can be expected in one's life. Creating is not to be feared. If we take care of the quantity, God will take care of the quality, even if it is just a stepping stone or breakthrough to something greater.

I began the course on Monday, July 7, while riding from Utah with my sister and her daughters to our parents' house in California. She was going for a few weeks vacation. I was going to stay and take care of the house while working creatively. It was the perfect time. If I was going to start a new life in a new place, I might as well become a renewed person. Everything new at once.

Julia Cameron

Now, what is IMPORTANT to understand for what is to follow in this blog is the structure of this course, particularly the morning pages, artist date, and tasks. Also, each week is provided with a chapter of insightful essays and exercises, with the list of related tasks (or homework) following.

The very last task is to reread the book and share it with a friend -- one artist sharing with another. I received The Artist's Way from my aunt Susan in the Fall of 2007, giving her the opportunity to finally fulfill that task. She passed away four years later. My family has never lived near much of my extended family, and if I was never able to serve Susan in any other way, I am grateful to have helped her with this accomplishment. I greatly appreciate her willingness to share this book that I may experience its wonder.

The morning pages are 3 stream-of-conscious, handwritten pages done every morning. Anything that comes to mind is written in longhand, no matter how seemingly grotesque, awful, petty, or boring. They are meant as a communion and meditation with your unfiltered self. They are meant to help override the Censor, the "grownup," adult, judgmental part of yourself that prevents, halts, blocks you from doing and living. The Censor is a shame- and fear-maker. The morning pages help. I promise. I testify. They have led me to many breakthroughs and self-discoveries as to how I truly feel about critical aspects of my life. I still practice the morning pages, though I've been done with the course now for two weeks. They take time, but they are valuable.

I spent 8 artist dates making this progress poster for myself.
It was a fun project and has been useful and motivating.
This pic is from Week Nine. (I didn't drop the ball)

The artist date is a date with your artist -- about two hours set aside every week to solely allow your artist-child to come out to play and explore. It is meant as a nurturing tool. After all, your artist is a delicate child, and sensitive children are better convinced and feel safe when coaxed than when bullied (who wouldn't?).

The Artist's Way has been a ridiculous, incredible, and magnificent journey for me, full of self-discoveries and enough emotional ups-and-downs for a David O. Russell film. Julia promises and warns that it will be a crazy journey, and I found that to not be taken lightly after spending many long nights and afternoons reeling from seeing my life in the raw unriddled before me in poetry, doodles, and other forms from my own creation, revealing things I had hidden from myself or truths that had not occurred to me but were strikingly begging to be uncovered -- several of which I feel open enough and invigorated to share..