Male Image and Porn

I am bothered by male objectification and muscle worship. I discussed this with an intelligent, close bisexual male friend, who mentioned that male objectification is widely expressed in our society but is far more overlooked than female objectification. It's everywhere you can find female objectification, even in television commercials, such as Old Spice ads, where it's often disguised and passed off as humorous. Still, how many ladies (and gents) would step up to bang these Old Spice guys, regardless of their satire of superficial male ego? (But that's the point they're trying to make to sell their product, right? Sick).

I don't feel like male objectification is a commonly addressed issue, though I observe several women and (gay) men participating in it on a regular basis. It's taken me a while to figure why I find it upsetting, beyond my irritations with superficiality, but I feel it shamefully stifles and overshadows gifts from men that are necessary to be expressed and that we are missing out on. Indeed, though I haven't heard this specifically mentioned -- as rightfully, media portrayal, violence, and emotional vulnerability are most often discussed with perceived "manhood" -- it is a marking aspect in the ongoing conversation of remembering that feminism is not meant to be man-hating, or man-debilitating, but to be about gender equality, benefiting both men and women.

My issue with male objectification helped me understand how female objectification is upsetting to most women, not that I needed to observe this to sympathize with them. Arguably, heterosexual (and homosexual) males do it as bullies, (subconsciously) attempting to use "weaker" males as objects to impose power over. For the sake of this post, however, I want to mainly focus on sexual objectification and the ideal male, especially regarding what it means to "be a man."

Seeing Others or Porn

Are we really seeing others for what they are -- their essence, their core? Are we reading into the unseen when we meet them, when we view their photographs? Are we honestly valuing and appreciating that? Do we make righteous judgments? Or, are we falling short, for ourselves, for each other, and for society, by stepping up to announce a superficial preference?

Why I Believe the Book of Mormon is True

Apart from spiritual confirmations, as a writer I believe the Book of Mormon to be a true document and history because its organization is so stupid.

Honestly, no one would write like this if they were making this stuff up, especially not an uneducated laborer younger than me (I'm speaking of Joseph Smith, if you happen to not know of the 19th century man that brought the book forward). I just don't see it. And not in three months, which is how long it took to "translate" the document.

I don't know how many times I've read the Book of Mormon, and I have to confess: being a lifetime member of the church that uses it (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), I only passively paid attention to what I read, while still picking up on a lot of the spiritual nuggets. Nevertheless, I spent this last year reading it and decided to make a conscious effort to understand every bit of it. Plus, I had questions I hoped, in some way, would be answered. Most weren't. That's okay.

Anyway, this time I read the entire book on my Kindle, having recognized some self-distancing and stand-off feelings when I approach the very structured columns in the print version. My Kindle made reading feel less impersonal and rigid. Also, I approached the entire book and characters as something completely foreign to me ("Nephi who?" -- cue acting skills). In the past, having heard the story of Nephi, and several other Book of Mormon stories, a thousand times, I would often tune out, because it felt like old news. These new techniques worked and helped! Soon, I found myself more engrossed than I had ever been before, which sparked me to take notes as I read.

Okay. Enough of how I did this reading.

Most of the book is an abridgment of volumes upon volumes of history concerning the Americas prior to its modern (within the last 1000 years) discovery, compiled by a man named Mormon. His writing takes over after a long discourse and history written by Nephi, who gives the record to his brother Jacob. A few of Jacob's progenitors hop in and add their few cents -- most just saying, "Hi. I existed. I possessed the record...Um, yeah..." Then, Mormon pops in, greets us, and takes us on from there into an abridgment that covers hundreds of years, which is eventually picked up by his son Moroni.

Occasionally, Mormon and Moroni interrupt to add their own comments, each with their own style -- Mormon more short and precise/simple; Moroni more lengthy and deep/bold. However, with the abridgment, Mormon is more detailed in his account, before adding his comments to simply sum up the point of each story. Moroni, on the other hand, is incredibly brief in his storytelling. His portion of abridgment is straight-forward, with a focus on the bottom line. The two men's voices are very different, but it is possible to say that their individual situations (of war) at the time of abridging could've played into their ability and accessibility to write.

Things I'm Not Allowed #5: Saying What I Want

The final item, and the most profound, in this series was, basically, to show up at a certain person's doorstep and say something I've been wanting to say for years but never have, due to my own social fears and our lack of relationship -- like, literally, we've never spoken, yet saw each other a few times a week, even recognizing each other in our own shy ways. I took to visualizing the experience and released this, in my random-dashes way of drawing:

Pretty much, the message of this one is to say what I want to say. Sometimes, what is inside may feel meek to come out, as it may be a delicate part of me. I may build defenses -- pile on a costume, wear a facade -- to protect that precious aspect. Other times, what I feel needs to be said may seem as dangerously snappy as an alligator king (do you see his head in the drawing?), though behind, or underneath, anything I say or do that may seem blunt or harsh is a delicate, well-meaning person. But it might be needed, in order for some activities and projects (or relationships) to progress smoothly; for other views and sides to be heard, that new understanding may be reached; for everyone to be treated fairly. Or, that snappiness might be a mask for what I really am feeling, or want to say. Also, near the bottom of the picture is a fuse. I can only take so much of not being heard, before I may collapse on myself, or explode, leaving others to deal with themselves.

There is so much in this abstract picture, but this description, I think, will suffice.

Opportunities to speak up, or to introduce yourself to someone and meet them, will pass you by. Don't fear others. They're only people. Would it really hurt to follow through, if you're feeling obliged to do so? This isn't always a problem for me, as friendly and welcoming as I can be, but on occasion, I do sense resistance to saying some things I feel strongly about, especially in certain settings. It has been my nature. I will do better. And in some instances, I have.

I Listened to the 4700 Tracks on my iPod on Shuffle. Here's What I Learned:

1. My iPod is clever. It played "Wrong" by Kimberly Locke and immediately followed with "Wrong Again" by Martina McBride. Well played, iPod.

2. My iPod is sentimental/reflective. As I reflectively looked out at our swimming pool glistening in the California sun, it played the ballad version of Celine Dion's "A New Day Has Come."

3. Even though I'm an actor, I haven't really been too much into the musical theatre scene, but I've been gaining greater respect for the genre, especially for The Last Five Years and Into the Woods. I must explore these plays' themes more in-depth! Thankfully, one is out on film and the other is about to be. How's that for life synchronicity?

4. My iPod is smart. Besides these, it played into much more synchronicity with life.

5. My iPod has a vendetta against me! Every time I went running it was guaranteed to play classical music. EVERY.TIME! I'd prefer something more hard and driving to run to.

6. Also, whenever I would drive other people my age in my car, it was guaranteed to play Australian folk songs, children's songs (i.e. The Wiggles), or Disney. ..Keepin' it cool...

7. As many songs as I have, there are none that are misplaced or that shouldn't be on there. They all fit me in one way or another, and yet, there are so many more songs out there I would love to put on it.

8. I have a lot more Sheryl Crow and Mary Chapin Carpenter than I thought I did. I like that.

9. I have a lot more John Mayer, Jewel, Faith Hill, Feist, Whitney Houston, and Jo Dee Messina than I realized. ..I don't have any strong feelings about that.

10. I have a lot more Norah Jones, Celine Dion, and Sarah McLachlan than I thought. I'm not crazy about that.