Things I Am Not Allowed #1: Romance, Dear To My Heart!!!

I've never considered myself a visual artist and still don't, despite my recent found affinity for doodling. However, as I recently discussed, I discovered it as a communication with myself, even my deeper, subconscious self, to express and release how I was feeling and to bring things more to my attention, similar to the morning pages (and other creative pursuits of mine).

One striking task from the eighth week of The Artist's Way, though I admittedly got to it much later, is to list five things you are not allowed to do, such as kill your boss, scream in church, or go outside naked. Next, put that thing on paper, whether in writing or something visual, and then put music on and dance it.

The first item on my list was something romantic but very specific. IT was something I had been casually trying to avoid, so it didn't overload or overwhelm me emotionally -- keeping a cool head to not agonize myself or look like a fool or screw myself over. You could say that at times I tried to deny its significance and importance to me.

I took to visualizing performing this adventurous action and let that image and energy flow through me. As I felt the thrill and sentiment of the event, I took to my doodling in faith -- slide a line here, dash there, round this to the other segment, work my way around and through.. Then, I felt prompted that the picture was done. I stepped back and looked at what I'd drawn. ...A heart.

A HEART???!!! REALLY?! Honestly?! And not even a cute, Valentine's romance heart. I drew a real, honest human heart, like this thing I was sketching out was honestly dear to my heart. Oh, gall! Sheesh! So corny! Yet, so real, as my own heart aggravated a little at my minimizing judgment of its desire, as though it did not want to be ignored and did not appreciate me not typically listening to it in this area of my life. I was good at saying no for it but never good at saying yes when it tried to.

I stared at my drawing. I couldn't believe it. I drew a heart. I had drawn a heart. There it was. My heart on paper. It even was a mirror of how it would be placed in my body, like if I took the paper and rammed it into my chest to absorb it, it would be set perfect for how it needed. ...I drew my heart..

For the music, I tuned into myself to know what song(s) to choose: "Follow the Flower" from the Under the Tuscan film soundtrack by Christophe Beck -- a cut from my favorite soundtrack from a favorite film of mine (which happens to be a romantic comedy drama; how appropriate).

I danced to it. It was fitting and fulfilling. And the experience was lovely and wonderful.